Jacob: Are you watching the Manchester United game?
Curtis: Yeah bro, it just came on.
Jacob: Can I come over to watch it?
Curtis: Sure.
Jacob: I’ll be right over. Peace. *hangs up*

Jacob is Curtis’ best friend that lives in the house next door. They’ve been teammates on the soccer team since primary school.
Curtis turns sixteen in a few days. He’s really excited about his party, especially since Nikki - his secret crush - said she was coming. But this young geezer from Manchester, England is gonna get one of his presents early…


*Jacob knocks on Curtis’ door*
Curtis: What up, geeze? I didn’t hear the doorbell.
Jacob: Yeah, your momma’s outside talkin’ with my mom, so she let me in.
Curtis: Oh ok.
Jacob: She didn’t look too happy; how has she been doin’ lately?
Curtis: Fine, I guess. Why you worried?
Jacob: Oh, I was just tryna see how she’s been dealin’ with the situation with your pops.
Curtis: He’s just away on a business trip in America…
Jacob: That’s not what I heard.
Curtis: What are you talkin’ about?
Jacob: I overheard my mom talking to your mom on the phone last night. She said that your mom caught your dad leavin’ a titty bar with another woman.
Curtis: A titty bar?!
Jacob: Yeah, the place you go when you wanna see girls that aren’t your wife dance naked for money.
Curtis: I don’t believe it
Jacob: What I don’t believe is that he actually paid for it, especially when you can go online and see naked girls for free.
Curtis: No way!
Jacob: I wouldn’t lie to you. *rushes to Curtis’ computer* Take a look for yourself.
Curtis: How did you find this?
Jacob: My big brother…but don’t tell him I told you.

Curtis sits down at the computer in amazement. He had never seen a porno before (guess he just never got into that sort of thing), but his sex-ed teacher talked about it in class yesterday. Apparently, he liked what he saw.

Curtis: Whoa…that guy has a big bat.
Jacob: *laughs* Oh please, I’m bigger than that.
Curtis: Yeah, right..
Jacob: Yet again, I wouldn’t lie to you. Look…
*Jacob drops his shorts. Curtis’ jaw drops*
Jacob: Now it’s your turn.
Curtis: Naw, man. I ain’t as big as---Jacob wrestles with Curtis and manages to get his pants down too.
Jacob: Damn. You might be bigger!
Curtis: (embarassed) Yeah, right.
Jacob: Well, let’s wake it up first. *drops to the floor*
Curtis: I dunno about th-- *moans*

To be continued...

Busta Rhymes’ 1997 hit "Put your hands where my eyes can see" - the hot song at the time - is blastin’ at Curtis’ 16th birthday party. Curtis finally asked Nikki to dance with him. Jacob isn’t far away, dancing with his girlfriend of 3 weeks. It’s approaching midnight, and Nikki has to go home. Curtis, a man’s man, walks her out.

Nikki: Thanks for inviting me to your party, Curtis.
Curtis: Thanks for coming; I’m glad you had a great time.
Nikki: Oh, I had a wonderful time. You’re a great dancer.
Curtis: I had a great dance partner.
Nikki: Who me?! I dunno anything about rap music.
Curtis: All you gotta do is move to the left – move to the right – and move all around - and put your hands where my eyes can see...
* Curtis commences to dance in circles around Nikki, who is easily impressed *
Nikki: Stop it; you’re too much --
Curtis: (still dancing) And you’re just right.
* Nikki stops Curtis, turns him to her face, and kisses him softly *
Curtis: (beside himself) Now you’re too much…
Nikki: And you’re just right – there’s my sister. Guess I’ll see you at school.
Curtis: Certainly.
* Nikki gets in the car. Curtis waves her away. *

He commences to high-five the air, acknowledging the divine nature of that, his first kiss. He turns to go inside the house; much to his surprise, standing on the porch with a big grin on his face is Jacob, who had been standing there the whole time.

To be continued...

* Curtis walks up to the porch where Jacob has gotten comfy.
Curtis: I see somebody likes to come over to watch TV.
Jacob: Boy, whatever.
Curtis: I hope you aren’t jealous.
Jacob: Yeah right, you wanker. I already got a girl.
Curtis: Be careful whom you call a wanker. Or do I have to remind you...
* Jacob looks away *
Curtis: Aww, I hope I didn’t hurt your feelings. * playfully punches Jacob *
Jacob: * punches back * Shut up. * a few awkward seconds pass * For the record, I am not a homo.
Curtis: I didn’t think you were…* more awkward seconds pass * …but you had me fooled.
* Jacob punches Curtis, who falls over the porch onto the ground on the side of the house *
Curtis: (holding his head – his pride is hurting more than his face) Clearly, somebody can’t take a joke.
Jacob: (rushes over to Curtis, who is laying on his back) My bad, geeze. Are you alright?
Curtis: I’ll live…are you alright?
Jacob: What are you talking about?!
Curtis: I mean, you hit me for a reason.
Jacob: Yeah, I did. I don’t want you thinking that your best friend was going the way of the rainbow batty boy.
Curtis: *chuckles* Naw, man. If I want a taste of the rainbow, I’ll go buy some Skittles. * They laugh, but Curtis remembers that his jaw still hurts. *
Curtis: Ugh, I guess I made you real mad; I’m sorry.
Jacob: No, Curtis, I shouldn’t have hit you like that.
Curtis: Agreed.
Jacob: Well, I know how I can make it up to you…
Curtis: Oh, do ya?!

* Curtis and Jacob have that look in their eyes. Jacob leans in to lay a wet one on Curtis. Meanwhile, Jacob’s girl heard the fall from inside and comes outside to see what’s happening. *
Samantha: Is everything alright?
* Jacob and Curtis turn quickly; fortunately for them, she saw nothing. *
Jacob: (slightly alarmed) Oh, he’s fine. Curtis was being his clumsy self. We were playing around, and he fell over.
Samantha: Now see, Curtis – that’s why I didn’t bring booze with me. You’d be falling all over the place.
Curtis: (as Jacob pulls him to his feet) You know I don’t mess with that stuff.
Samantha: Yeah right. * walks up to Jacob and kisses him * (to Jacob) Hurry up, baby. Our song’s on.
Jacob: I’ll be right there. * Samantha goes back inside. *

Jacob and Curtis are behind her. But as they are about to walk, Jacob playfully bites Curtis’ ear.

Jacob: (whispers) I guess we’ll have to take a raincheck. * They chuckle and walk inside. *

To be continued…